


Before I Go To Sleep

by catcusxx



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: And fluff? I guess?, F/M, Fear, Genomorph, Hurt/Comfort, Sleep Deprivation, So far it sounds angsty whoops, there's some humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 09:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17525813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catcusxx/pseuds/catcusxx
Summary: They told her he wasn't human - that he couldn't be saved - but why, then, could she feel his fear?





	Before I Go To Sleep

She only planned on looking. Like someone went to an aquarium to see the fish. Out of curiosity. One didn't go to an aquarium and release the fish, yet here she was. The fact that she was pulling off the life support tubes was an accurate representation of how her plans always seemed to go; wrong.   
Utterly and irreversibly wrong, in fact.   
She stepped back as his mind whirred to life and pushed down the aching emptiness and sickening fear his unconscious mind couldn't subdue. He pushed it down with anger. She'd been having doubts about waking him already; she knew he'd destroyed the genomorph's last sanctuary but she hadn't been able to ignore his mind.   
The pod put you in a strange kind of sleep, where your dreams merged with your reality and your mind chased the same thoughts in circles. Everything became distorted but his emotions were powerful enough to invade her sleep and she knew he wasn't a mindless killer.   
Of course, her doubts intensified when his eyes flickered open and he looked around confusedly. The blue of his iris contrasted sharply with the black of the surrounding sclera. The unnatural colour of his eyes shouldn't scare her - her own were solid silver - but it was the kind of black which would forever remain empty and untainted by any other colour.  
An ugly, dark colour.  
When they locked onto her and the pupils constricted, she knew she was in trouble. She managed to teleport away from his first swing, but he followed her.   
There was a moment of relief when he didn't move to attack, but then his eyes glowed red-hot and she only just managed to avoid the lasers which shot from them, singeing the skin on her right side. He abandoned this almost instantly, his attacks frenzied like a rabid dogs. His hand closed around her collar. She fought to breathe as it pressed against her throat. The pressure increased as he lifted her higher and then flung her across the room.   
Her vision blurred as she sat up and tried to focus on something long enough to teleport. He'd followed his throw almost instantly, so she had a mere seconds respite before she was thrown again.  
The sickening thud of her body slamming against the wall echoed in her ears. Her eyes glowed as she forced his suspended animation tank between them. Lifting something that heavy exhausted her further and it barely slowed him. He was standing over her again.  
He was going to kill her. Her body was delicate and as strong as her mind was, she wasn't built to be thrown around. His eyes glowed again. She could taste blood in her mouth and spat it out so she could speak.   
"Superman wouldn't kill me."   
It was hardly safe choice of words. He wanted to be Superman; he wanted to replace him. The mention would probably make him angry. Angrier, she supposed.  
But his eyes stopped smouldering, and she was left staring into their black voids and realising he felt hopeless. Hopelessness was never a good feeling. It led to desperation, and desperate people did desperate things. Right now, however, he only sat back on his haunches and watched her warily.   
"Thank you." She said, wondering how much he could understand. His thought's weren't coherent, yet he was listening.  
She eyed the 'S' branded on his chest as she considered her next words. He followed her gaze and crossed his arms over his chest. It was as if he were admitting he wasn't Superman.   
"My name's Gemm." She said, tapping her chest. "It has two 'm's' because I was only five minutes old when I chose my name, and a little extra. What's your name?"  
He nodded to his smashed up pod - he wouldn't be going back in there. The words 'project match' were stamped across the top. He offered no explanation - Gemm wasn't sure he knew how to act when no one was trying to kill him. There was the whirr of a security camera in the corner of the room. The buzz of minds from the upper floors were getting closer. Gemm fiddled with her singed shirt, waiting at any moment from people to discover them. They had a few more minutes but the seconds were quickly ticking away.  
"There's this place I want to take you." She said quietly, "but I need you to promise you wont harm anyone. We need to stay hidden."   
He was silent but conflicted. She could hear people coming now - so could he, she assumed, but his eyes stayed firmly on her.   
"Match, we have one minute." Desperation crept into her tone. Still he said nothing. She could feel his mind working furiously, but there wasn't enough time. Shaking her head, she muttered, "time to be logical, Gemm. Risking hundreds of lives for one is not smart. I shouldn't - I should not do it..."   
Match reached out a hand. Instinctively, Gemm flinched. That action in itself froze him there and he stayed with his hand halfway between them. He leaned forwards but his fingers curled away from her. Reaching over an abyss he wasn't sure he wanted to cross. Gemm considered him, teeth worrying her lower lip.   
He was fighting his programming. He was tearing himself away from everything he'd ever known and the pieces of human (kryptonian?) which shone through needed guidance. They needed her.  
They had seconds until someone found them. Several people hurried down the halls towards them. Still she moved slowly as she reached out to his hand. Cautiously she grasped it and, looking into his eyes, she mustered up the energy to teleport them away. There was a shout behind them as they phased. It was lost in the rushing of air in their ears as seconds later they hit the hard ground of Gemms bedroom.   
Her knees buckled and Match moved to catch her but hesitated at the last moment.   
"Thanks." Gemm muttered, catching herself on the bed instead and standing. Wiping her bleeding nose she turned to Match, but there was a knock on her door.   
Cursing under her breath, Gemm teleported herself outside.   
"Oh hey Leesh." She said when she saw who it was.  
Her friend, and one of the few other genomorph's capable of speech and intelligent thought.  
"You look horrible." Leesh said bluntly. "What have you been doing?"   
"I've been practicing teleporting." Gemm explained, leaning pointedly against her door.   
There was a dangerous anti-hero locked in her bedroom. Part of her expected lasers to burn through the door - and her - at any moment.   
"And that gave you a blood nose, covered you in dirt, and scorched you?" Leesh said, an eyebrow raised. Gemm was glad her friend was no telepath.   
"I overshot." She lied, "came up in a wall. It was not pleasant."   
"Oh."   
Gemm let herself yawn, "well, you know how it tires me out... So I'll sleep it off."   
"Riiiight." Leesh shook her head. "Well, I'll see you later, I've got to go." Gemm was lucky Leesh had somewhere else to be; usually she didn't escape her friends scrutiny so easily.  
Gemm waited until she was gone before opening the door and slipping back inside. Her dangerous anti-hero had barley moved since they arrived. He was on the floor, his back against the wall and his knee's pulled into his chest. He looked scared and Gemm couldn't place why. Perhaps it was her, with her ice pale skin small horns jutting out from her white hair. She was just human enough to pass for normal at a glance, and human enough for the sharpness of her features and eyes and horns to be unsettling.  
But no, on closer examination the fear wasn't directed at her. He felt trapped, and he was eyeing the door too eagerly.  
"Look, I'm going to have to keep you in here for a few days. After last time my uncle won't be too pleased to see you."   
"Yes." He agreed.   
Gemm felt a jolt in her stomach. His voice was rough from disuse, but he could talk!  
"You can talk." She echoed, smiling encouragingly.   
"I do not... Think... That I am meant to." He said slowly.   
"Because of Cadmus?" She asked.   
He nodded, his fists clenching. The anger was so at odds with his hunched position.  
"You don't have to be what they want you to be." She said, gingerly sitting down beside him. He drew back when their elbows touched and she watched him curiously, making no motion to move closer.  
"What do I do now?" He asked.  
"We work on learning control." She said, "and we get you a shirt."  
He looked down at the 'S' carved into his chest. The laser had gone deep and the scar was still irritated. Skin was peeling at the edges, the wound still raw and only partially healed. It was a brand which would never fade.  
"Your shirts will not fit." He said needlessly.   
"I know, be right back." She assured him. Praying that another of her friends, Brax, was over at Leesh's, she teleported herself inside his room and snatched up some of his clothing. She was back in a manner of seconds.  
"The showers are communal but I have my own bathroom - because of Dubbilex, I suppose. He's kind of like an... Uncle, to me."  
Match, although listening intently to her ramblings, made no response, so she shrugged and pulled out her first-aid kit. He looked up when she removed her own shirt, appearing guilty when he saw the scorch marks on her side. Smiling reassuringly, Gemm tried not to hiss in pain as she dabbed anti-septic on it. She couldn't help but steal glances at him as she cleaned up.   
He'd pulled off his old shirt and pulled on the new one. It still stretched tightly over the plains of his chest, but Gemm could hardly say she minded. He was so out of place in her room, standing hunched as if the rough stone walls would close in on him. Gemm had gotten a comfortable cave and the door was well fitted. It was large enough for her, but seeing him, all hard edges against the softness of her bed and carpet, she wondered if she should have chosen something bigger.   
Then again, she'd hardly expected to have a fully fledged superman clone in her room. She sighed... At least she'd had the foresight to steal a double bed.   
"Where do I sleep?" He asked when she dimmed the lights.  
Gemm patted the space beside her on the bed. "Here," she said brightly.   
"Are you sure that is a good idea?" He was eyeing her hand apprehensively.  
"It makes no sense to make one of us sleep on the floor when there's a perfectly functional bed." Gemm said. She smiled to take some of the bite out of her words; so she didn't seem as if she were mocking him.   
"I don't know what will happen to me - when I sleep." He said.  
"Let's find out." Gemm said, settling down as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Just don't strangle me in your sleep."   
"Do not joke about this." He said, making to stand.   
Laying a hand on his arm she dipped her head in apology. "If you really don't want to I can sleep on the floor - or you can, whichever you're more comfortable with."   
His thoughts were written over his face; if he were to revert to his Cadmus programming, sleeping on the floor wouldn't help.   
She tilted her head to one side, wanting to do... Something... To put him at ease. Her words would probably have little effect, but she had to start somewhere. Plus, it was her words which had snapped him out of it in the first place.   
"For the record, I do trust you."   
He snorted, almost a laugh, derisive as it was. "I threw you against a wall five times." He said harshly.   
"It would have been the sixth time which would have counted." Gemm said. The time when he would have actually broken her.  
Match hovered for a moment, before climbing under the covers beside her. There was enough space between them for her to keep her distance. She was unsure if it were him or her who wanted it most.  
-  
Match was hyper aware of her beside him. Of something so breakable. Of someone who'd somehow snapped him out of the hazy stupor which had been his anger. He'd felt it there for so long, like a separate part of him. There had been times, yes, where he'd felt his hands close around her body and the satisfaction as she hit the wall. There had been many more where he'd just been there, and watching as everything happened.   
And then he became hyper aware of the sheets which tangled around his legs. Uncomfortably hot, he shifted, dragging the sheets which clung to him along the bed. They seemed to constrict his breathing and he gasped for air.   
It was all in his head. Everything had always been in his head. The images of the world they'd force fed him, the sounds, the people, all in his head. He'd been able to ignore the stale air and the tubes inserted into his arms. He'd barely been conscious then, and the sensations were old and almost comforting.  
Now he couldn't ignore the way the damn sheet's itched.   
A hand skimmed his arm and he jumped.   
"Hey." It was Gemm, and she didn't speak as if she were going to reprimand him. "If it's too hot just lie outside the covers. Lot's of people do. I just prefer to be warm."   
He pulled away from her hand and scrambled outside the blankets. He released a deep breath, feeling the cold air on his skin. It was almost nice.   
Still niggling worry and doubt pressed against his skull. The darkness of sleep threatened to consume him, and he was far too tempted to let it. That made it dangerous. He'd found himself that day. The side of him which had avidly watched the images they'd forced into his mind. The side which didn't exist to kill. He'd built himself and he knew that if he gave in to sleep it would all come tumbling down.   
He turned on his side, facing Gemm. Already asleep, her breathing was deep and even. She was strange for sure. Not like the other humans. It was her glowing eyes which captivated him, but now those eyes were closed and faint silvery markings shone on her eyelids.   
She had helped build him. It seemed she would keep helping him, but not if he slept. Not if he destroyed things. If he slept, he would not only lose himself, but lose her as well.   
It would be a long night.   
-  
Gemm had woken up with her world falling down around her. She'd woken up five minutes old and had to fast adjust to a world she'd only seen in her head. She'd woken up in many small, unfamiliar crevasses. Never before had she woken up and looked straight into someone else's eyes.  
Sleep made you vulnerable after all, and she wasn't sure she wanted to be vulnerable around Match.  
Shooting up, she untangled herself from the covers and scrambled out of bed. Match sat up as well, watching her confusedly.   
"You don't just stare at someone!" Gemm reprimanded.   
Match recoiled, quickly averting his eyes. Gemm tried to run a hand through her hair but her fingers became tangled. Pulling them out she sighed.   
"It's fine. Just... Wake me up or something next time, yeah?"  
"Okay." He agreed, still uncertainly.   
"I was just surprised. That's all." She said. For a moment she struggled to find the words to assure him that it really was okay. Already, she internally kicked herself for her outburst. "I'm going to get breakfast so... Wait here."   
"When can I leave?" He asked.   
But she'd already teleported away, leaving him looking at the door and waiting for it to open, or rather, for Gemm to appear inside.   
Half an hour later there was a flash of light and Gemm appeared. A shiver ran down her body as the energy needed for her to teleport dissipated. She was holding a tray of food.   
"Sorry," she said, smiling apologetically, "there was a bit of a line."  
"Right." He said.   
She could see something dark building in his eyes as she set the tray down beside him. Impatience. Fear. Distrust. She wanted to sit down beside him, but she wanted, needed, to be able to run. Perhaps that was her mistake; expecting the worst from the situation. He could see that she feared him, and somehow that scared him even more.  
Finally, he asked, "when can I leave?"   
"I don't want to keep you here, I really don't, but-"  
Match sprung up. The tray of food was sent flying and he stood toe to toe with her.   
Gemm swallowed audibly but held her ground.   
"Don't tell me you don't feel like punching something right now. What if someone else took the hit, Match? And what if they couldn't actually take it? You're strong."   
She watched nervously as his fists shook with pent up anger. His eyes heated up, and as if releasing his anger, lasers burned from them towards the roof. Gemm ducked as the ceiling fell around her and Match leapt upwards. He wasn't ready for the world out there.  
She'd released a shark from the aquarium and she wasn't sure if it could survive out of the water.  
-  
She found him late at night, away from people. He was alone hunched under a lone tree at the base of a hill - the beginning of farmland. Cautiously, she approached him. He could probably hear her, but he didn't look up, avoiding her eyes.  
"Match?" She said finally, stopping to one side of him.   
He glanced up, but only briefly, as if he hadn't expected her to talk.  
"Your space was... Small." He said.  
Gemm tilted her head, trying to understand what he was trying to communicate.   
"It has to be." She explained.  
Match shook his head. "I know... But it was too small."  
Gemm did not have to look far into his mind to grasp his true meaning. "You're claustrophobic." She said.   
"An irrational fear of small spaces." He recited. "No. It is not irrational."   
"Your actions were irrational." Gemm pointed out. He shook his head again. She supposed to him it felt reasonable. With effort, she decided not to push any further.  
"Okay, well, it's good weather. We can stay out here."   
"You should not stay with me."   
"If you don't want me to, I'll go." She said reluctantly.   
Match's brow crinkled. "That was not what I meant. You have the other's."  
"We all have each other there. You have no one, and Match, I know you don't want to admit it but... You need someone right now."   
The way he looked at her then made a shiver run through her. There was a strange sheen to his gaze, a stiffness to his expression, as if he were hiding just how scared he really was. He nodded slowly and shifted so she could join him against the tree stump. His eyes shifted guiltily to his feet.  
Gemm gently tilted his head upwards instead.   
"You should watch the stars instead. Much more interesting."   
"They are... Nice."  
"Just nice?" Gemm questioned playfully. "There are whole religions based off the stars," she pointed to Mars and he followed her gaze. "That's a planet. Martian's live there."   
"Mars?" He guessed.   
"Yeah. Do you know about the constellations?"   
"I think so... But..." He shrugged and turned his gaze from her back to the sky. He seemed content just to watch the stars, his eyes wide with wonder. She could see the pinpricks of light reflected in his dark sclera. His shoulders relaxed and that in itself made Gemm feel safe.   
Yawning, she shrugged. "I'm going to sleep now. Wake me when it's light. We'll get you proper food."  
-  
To Match, the ease in which Gemm fell asleep seemed a blessing and a curse. She smiled at him one last time, settled down against the tree stump, and shut her eyes. He could tell when she truly slept because her head lolled onto his shoulder.  
He continued to watch the stars, his eyes heavy. He understood them. He understood how they were born and how they would eventually burn out, and yet they were still mysterious to him.   
Gemm should have been simple to grasp. He knew how genomorph's were made and their purpose and their pro's and con's, and yet she too, was so much more than the sum of her parts.  
Strange, he reflected finally, how there was a whole roof of beauty above his head and he was watching her.  
Then he remembered her shock in the morning, when she'd woken up and looked into his eyes. Or had it been fear?   
So he turned his eyes back to the stars and tried not to steal glances at her.  
-  
He was gone when she woke up. Gemm liked to think of herself as a light sleeper, so this unnerved her. And the fact that he could be anywhere right now. The image of him carefully trying to extract himself from her sleeping form was strangely comical and the slightest bit sweet. She wasn't surprised to find him nearby, pacing restlessly.   
"You'll wear out the ground." She told him.  
He looked up, and again this struck her as strange. He knew she was coming, and yet when she spoke he seemed confused.   
"Do you want to get breakfast?" She asked.  
He blinked sleepily; there were shadows under his eyes.  
"Will you go without me?" He asked.   
She knew this was critical, yet she answered with little thought, "no."  
He stopped his pacing, confused.   
"We can get something together. I figured out how to make cash come out of the cash machine so we have enough for a few days. We can go to a supermarket maybe."  
"Are you sure?" he asked. Gemm knew that she needed to be. She needed to believe that he would be fine in public because her doubt would only make things worse.   
So she nodded firmly. "Of course. We'll be fine. Besides, I'm not sure how much you saw yesterday."   
"I flew straight here." He admitted. "But the streets... They looked interesting."   
"Time to satisfy your curiosity then." She said, holding out her hand. He didn't take it, although he was far from ignoring it. She sighed.  
Instead, she adjusted the beanie she'd been wearing the past day to hide her horns. She really did need a better solution; it was far too hot for one.  
She led Match through the streets of the town and entered the supermarket.  
-  
In her defence, things wouldn't have gone so badly if a mother and her son hadn't asked them where to find the damn pineapples.   
And if the son hadn't been wearing a Superman t-shirt.   
And if he hadn't asked Match if he was superman.   
So it really was just a coincidence that the front of the shop was blown off.  
She felt him grow wary as the mother and son approached; no one had spoken to them all day. She felt him tense when he spotted the sons attire.  
He grew rigid when the child asked him of his identity.   
Around then, it occurred to Gemm that maybe she should offer him moral support and she held out her hand for him to hold. By then, of course, there were already lasers shooting from his eyes and in true, comic book style, the building began to shake. Gemm dived for him. He was far too concerned about the other people to notice her hand latch onto his arm and she teleported him back to the same tree they'd slept under.   
Placing their (now stolen) shopping basket down, Gemm teleported to where he could see her and held her hands out.   
"Match?" She asked. Her voice seemed to make him indecisive; she could feel his mind flicking from his animalistic Cadmus programming to the Match that she knew.   
Well, technically she knew both Match's far too well - but she knew which version of him she liked.  
Like this he was powerful, perhaps even surpassing superman. There was a kind of rugged beauty to his rigid form and the fierceness in his eyes was breath-taking.   
It was also kind of murderous and Gemm was only three years old and had a life she still wanted to live.  
"We can - we can fix this." She said, stepping towards him. She kept her hands in view, her voice calm, and even her heartbeat steady.   
This time it was she who reached out her hand. He didn't flinch but he did hesitate. She waited as his concentration flickered from her to the loud streets below them. He reached out to her, hand shaking slightly. Gemm took it, holding tightly and stepping closer to him.   
"That's better." She said.   
She knew it wasn't really him yet, but she felt safer near him when she did standing away. It was a strange sensation, and fear threatened to chase it all away.  
"I think.. I think I am..."   
He trailed off. Gemm wondered if he were going to say 'okay'. She wondered if he realised that was a lie.  
"It took so little!" He said finally. "My grip on... On this is so weak."  
"It's alright." Gemm said. "We're on the radar of Young Justice now. They'll help us. They have a telepath who can remove the Cadmus programming from you."  
"Why would they help me?" Match asked.   
"This is why we are going to Young Justice rather than the actual League. They may be more open-minded."  
"Are you sure this is... A good idea?" Match asked nervously.   
"Of course." Gemm said.   
(Lied)   
"Wanna go now?" She asked. She had a vague idea of where she wanted to go but could only hope they didn't end up in a wall somewhere.   
"I want this to be over." Match affirmed.   
Gemm held out her hand. "Do you want me to do the talking?" She asked.   
Match only nodded. The movement was almost lost in the flurry of electricity as they teleported into the base.  
Or what Gemm hoped was the base.   
They were in a janitors closet. The space was too small and they were pressed too tightly together for Gemm to find a door handle. There was a clatter as Match knocked something down behind him.   
"I think we're in." Gemm whispered. She was sure she could feel another telepath nearby. Unless telepaths usually became janitors; maybe she should consider it as a career choice.  
"Is there a door?" Match asked. She could feel his warm, harsh breath on her neck.   
Claustrophobia, right.  
"I think so." She said, feeling around for a handle. She hoped so. Teleporting elsewhere in this situation could be dangerous, and they would be pressed much more close together if they ended up in a wall.   
Then again, in her three years of stealing from back room supermarkets, this wasn't exactly the worst situation she'd been in. In fact, she had absolutely no objection to a superman clone being pressed against her back, murderous tendencies and all.  
But that was just her trying to be funny.   
There was a part of her, a rather large part, which was very, very tempted to turn her head so they were facing each other. She could feel blood rush to her face as she considered what could happen from there onwards. They were in a closet after all.   
It wasn't just the vague scattered thoughts which ran through her head which she could feel from him. His thoughts she could ignore. She'd had lot's of practice blocking out the telepathic background noise from everywhere - but him - she couldn't ignore his physical presence. The way he made her feel.   
Their legs were entangled. She was standing on tip-toe so her heels didn't crush his feet, though really she was too light and most of her weight was pushed up against what she was sure was a door. The posture put her head against his shoulder and her elbows probably jabbing into his ribs. Perhaps that's why he was so uncomfortable.   
Or perhaps it was because they were so close and his warmth here, and his muscles against her back and breath fluttering against her neck felt entirely different to their nights together. The situation should have put them on edge, yet she felt herself relaxing into him. She could have stayed there for much longer.   
"You alright?" She asked.   
"With you it isn't so bad." He said. Gemm could still feel him quivering.  
And then she felt his arms enclose her - just not in the gesture she was hoping for. He managed to flip them so he was against the door, and without bothering to look for a handle, he slammed his weight against the door.  
Gemm frowned, but was forced to run after him as he stormed forwards.   
"What's wrong?" She asked, catching up.   
She had to grab his shoulder before he would reply. She was pushing him again, and he didn't appreciate it.   
"Just tired." He grunted.   
"And tired prompts you to bust open doors? We're trying to make a good impression here!" She warned him.   
"I know!" He hissed, speeding up.  
"Their telepaths the other way." Gemm said, darting in front of him and leading them down a different hall. She couldn't miss the shadows under his eyes. The kind that weren't from a momentary lack of sleep, but from a deeply ingrained weariness. "How tired?" She demanded.   
"I don't know." He said stubbornly.   
Gemm was going to push him further - she needed to understand what was happening with him - but she was met with someone else first. With her upbringing, surrounded by mutants and half-humans and animals of strange, fantastical descriptions, she supposed she shouldn't have done a doubletake of the telepaths green skin.   
"Connor?" The telepath asked, before shaking her head. "You were the one on the news... And you are?"  
"A genomorph." Gemm said. Her species always seemed to be more important than her name. "We came to you for help."  
"Alright." The Martian said sceptically. "What for?"   
"I thought that maybe you could erase the Cadmus programming."  
"Are you sure that's not just, well-" she lowered her voice- "how he is?"   
"No." Match answered before Gemm could reply. He was surprisingly calm considering he'd just been accused of being a killing machine. "I can feel the programming, I just can't..."   
"Come with me." The Martian said. "My names M'gann by the way."   
"Gemm. Will you tell the others we're here?" She asked.   
"They probably already know. Super-uh, Connor-will have heard. How did you get in?"  
"I can teleport." Gemm said. She chose not to advertise her other powers.   
"Alright," M'gann seemed not to mind their base had been compromised. She opened the door into what looked like a conference room and sat at the head of the table. "Cadmus programming doesn't start from scratch," she began when they were seated. "It taps into the part of the brain which relies on instinct - the side related closest to an animals."  
"Animals aren't violent on their own, though." Gemm pointed out.   
"Yes. I believe it also simulates the pain centre." To Gemm's surprise, Match was nodding. She hadn't felt - hadn't looked for - pain underneath the anger. "The urge to take over from Superman is probably to only thing the Cadmus programming actually brought in." M'gann continued, leaning forwards, "can I have a look?" She asked Match.   
Match shot Gemm an anxious glance which M'gann didn't miss.  
"If you would like, Gemm can come too and reign me in. I won't go anywhere that I don't have to."  
Gemm smiled reassuringly. Sure, the fact that she was a telepath had stayed hidden all of three minutes, but she was glad M'gann understood. Match nodded, still hesitant. Gemm gripped his hand, for the first time not to teleport or tame him. It was a nice feeling, really.   
She followed M'gann as they entered his mind. Gemm had rarely been deep into someone's psyche before, but she'd never seen a representation such as the one before her. She'd seen chaos and she'd seen neatly organized library's, but she'd never seen such emptiness. It wasn't the emptiness of stupidity either - she knew Match had a lot of theoretical knowledge on the world - but that was all jumbled up in one corner.   
"His subconscious is blocking us out." M'gann explained. Her voice was inside Gemm's head. That too, was a jarring sensation.   
"How do we stop it?" She asked.   
"We can try - hold on." Without explaining herself, the Martian pressed two fingers to her temple. "I've felt this presence before."   
Now, out of the darkness, loomed a black, writing mass. Gemm could see tendrils of it reaching into Match's mind.   
"Cadmus?" She asked.   
M'gann nodded. "I can erase it by releasing brain waves of a higher frequency but we run the risk of destroying parts of Match's mind." She said. "With more time - maybe a day - I can get Robin to engineer a kind a virus to corrupt the program."   
"You sure they'll help?" Gemm asked. "The others, I mean."   
"We've been in a similar situation before." M'gann said, a fond smile overtaking her features. "Things worked out then and I bet we can help now. Besides, Connor's been taking the fact that he left Match behind really hard - he feel's he's abandoned his brother."   
"He just wasn't the right person to rescue him. He goes kinda... Berserk when he see's Superman anywhere."   
"So did Connor really. I never considered the fact that there was a Cadmus program inside him."  
"He seems to be doing well." Gemm said, "is there a place for us to stay?"   
M'gann nodded, "there are two room deeper into the compound I'll show you." Her voice faded as they exited Match's head, and when she next spoke it was aloud.  
"I'll take you to your rooms." M'gann said. It was much later in the day now, and Gemm was ready to sleep. She glanced at Match beside her, wondering just how tired he was.   
"Can we get food first?" Gemm asked. "We tried going to the store but... Well... That didn't work out."   
"Of course." M'gann said, jumping up, "this way."   
Gemm fell in step beside Match, who's mind was heavy with thought.  
"What did M'gann say?" He asked quietly.  
"We found the Cadmus programming. M'gann said that she could remove it but it might destroy your mind so it'll be better if we wait for Robin to engineer a bug."  
"How long will that take?" Match asked.   
"A few days apparently. But we can stay."   
"You sure-" He lowered his voice, "you sure that's a good idea?"   
"You're going to be fine." She assured him.   
She may have just jinxed it.   
The kitchen was full of people, full of presence. Many of them had looked up when the three of them entered, but Connor had already been watching the door.   
It was disconcerting to see his face. He was practically identical to Match yet didn't quite feel the same.   
Gemm didn't feel the same - when she looked at him.   
"I probably should have told them to leave." M'gann muttered. She was watching Match.   
Gemm didn't need to look at him to know he was on the edge. Undoubtedly his eyes had fallen on Connor.   
It was different this time. He was reasoning with himself and there was a single, shining moment where Gemm believed that maybe he would succeed - but then the pain kicked in.   
She felt it for a second. She felt it burn. Her mind had become open to Match and she'd relaxed too much around him. She doubled over, glimpsing for a second, M'gann rubbing her temples, as if the burning was merely a dull ache. Maybe to her it was, but when Gemm saw Match - his expression deadly and his eyes burning red hot - a different wave of pain washed over her.   
Standing shakily, she assessed the situation. Forget knocking down a door, destroying someone's entire home was definitely top on Gemm's list of 'How not to make a good impression'.   
She teleported and was moving again before the electricity from the last one had dissipated. The members of Young Justice were defending rather than attacking, but Gemm didn't know when that would change.   
Launching herself at Match she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.   
It was a dumb idea.  
It was mortifying.   
It worked.   
He went smoothly from not responding to not knowing how to respond.   
Gemm leapt away and slowly turned to face the team.   
"I figured-" Her throat was dry with embarrassment and she swallowed. "I figured since the Cadmus programming relied on the animalistic portions of the brain a new experience would force other parts of the brain - the ones involved in thought - to work." She said. "Sorry. About the damage."   
"I think we need an explanation of the situation." One of the members said.  
"I'll fill you in." M'gann said. "You can stay down the hall to your left."   
Gemm nodded and she and Match walked away as fast as was dignified - which wasn't nearly as fast as she would have liked.  
"Are you... Angry?" Match asked. He didn't want to know her answer, she could tell.   
She shook her head. "You barely did any damage, besides the whole thing was... Was out of your control." She found herself nibbling her lip anxiously, trying to calm down. She needed to be steadfast - he needed her to be.   
"You didn't tell me about the pain." She said.   
"It doesn't matter."   
His walk was uneven, as if he struggled to keep his balance. The circles under his eyes were more prominent than ever.  
"It does matter." She told him quietly as they entered the room.  
He chose the bed on the far side and sat down, facing away from her. His shoulders were hunched and Gemm could tell he didn't want her to come over to him.   
She sat on the other bed instead, absently running a hand over the velvety covers.  
"Have you slept at all, Match?" She asked.  
"No." He said shortly. "But it doesn't matter, I'm fine."  
"You don't have to be fine." She told him. "If there's anything you want to talk about - I can help you sleep if you want."  
She watched as he relaxed ever so slightly.   
"I can't sleep." He said.  
"Can't or won't?" She asked. He was tired now. Exhausted. She could feel it.  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It does. Look at you - you can barely stand."   
"I. Am. Fine." His voice had risen, but Gemm was certain he wasn't truly angry.   
She stood up and gingerly moved to sit beside him. "no one, no one at all, is going to punish you for being scared - or -" she continued, cutting him off "- or for feeling things. Even Superman feels fear, and he isn't a lesser person because of it."   
There was a long silence. Gemm focused on the patterns on the wall to keep herself from looking into his thoughts. She could feel him beside her, beginning to fidget. Maybe she should leave it alone and come back to it when the programming was removed.   
It would almost be smarter, yet she wasn't sure if she could sleep when he felt like he did now.   
"I am scared." His voice broke the silence and Gemm jumped. Finally, she dared to look into his eyes and she could see the fear there, so intense that she felt a shiver run up her spine and an aching desire to help him settle it's weight on her.   
"Of what?" She asked. Her tone was no longer insistent. He would tell her if he so chose to.   
"If I sleep it will all go back to how it was - how I was."   
She wanted to tell him that he was never mindless, but she didn't want to make him feel his fear was unfounded. He needed a solution, not a dismissal.   
He was watching her anxiously after his admission and Gemm realised that truly, he feared she would stop helping him any moment.   
"That makes sense." She settled for, "your fears, not the reality of them. You need sleep, Match - and you don't have to get it tonight, we still have plenty of time to work on this, but eventually you will have to."  
He shook his head, as if he didn't want to think of sleeping. Gemm laid the matter to rest for now. She was tired. She found herself curling into his side.   
"Did you realise you were blocking M'gann and I before? From seeing into your mind?"   
"I didn't want to let M'gann in." He admitted.   
"Next time say so, alright? I know that telepathy makes people uncomfortable."  
"I do not mind you." He said. Gemm didn't know how to respond, and he rushed on, "if there is anything you need to see then you can."   
Gemm shook her head, "M'gann has everything she needs. I don't want to invade."   
"Please." He said, meeting her eyes finally. "There are somethings I cannot otherwise express."  
"If you're sure." Gemm said, sitting so she could face him. Gently, she placed a hand on either side of his head and slipped inside.   
His mind was an open book now. Cadmus was creeping around in the background. She was there too, jumbled up in the things he knew about stars and Superman and about the world. She followed herself in his mind until it was just her.  
She'd never felt memories before. They weren't like voices. There was no tone or expression, it was just the memory.   
In these, however, she could feel the uncertainty and fear and loneliness at first. She knew for sure when it changed, too. The fear shrunk back and the loneliness was filled with warmth and Gemm realised that he liked her.  
Suddenly she wasn't looking into his mind, she was looking into his heart. She was seeing herself, from his perspective from only minutes before. When she'd kissed him.   
She hadn't expected him to remember but when the image came into focus she was still close to him. His eyes had flicked to her eyelashes, so pale they were normally invisible. Now he could almost count them.   
There was another night, where he'd watched the silvery lines on her eye lids and wondered at his existence and her part in it. The guilty flick of his eyes to the sky told her things in a way even his emotions couldn't. The way they kept drifting to her told her more.  
He saw her as beautiful in a way she'd never thought of herself as being.   
She saw him as beautiful in a way she knew for sure he didn't see himself.   
She would tell him.   
She came out of his mind slowly, almost reluctantly. He was no longer beside her and she felt a moment of panic. Perhaps she really had gone too deep.   
She looked at him then, really looked. He was asleep, finally. When he woke up things would be different. Things would seem brighter. There would still be Cadmus inside his head. He would still fear sleep, but despite his initial reaction, Gemm knew that the next day things would be better.

**Author's Note:**

> I need to actually start writing short stories...  
> But anyways, something I realised; I was actually gonna try make Match act like he had bipolar disorder in this? Because I was like hmmn, that would be interesting to explore -- but I did some research and I found out that it wasn't like what I was envisioning at all... The only person I know of with bipolar disorder is a friend of mine's Dad. He's a bit of an asshole so I didn't have a great image of him (And consequently the condition).   
> I'm never actually sure about portraying mental conditions because they're obviously different for everyone and I obvi don't wanna offend by getting it wrong. I also feel like there's an important distinction between representation and using the condition as a plot point, ya know?   
> If you're representing anything (race, physical or mental conditions etc) then you've gotta make sure it's accurate as well and on a short story like this I just don't feel like I've put in the time to actually make this accurate.  
> That being said, I love it when shows/books are representative. I didn't think it would be that great (And for me it was on surface level), but one of the leads in Teen Wolf had asthma and even tho it wasn't shown in the same way as mine, I was still freaking happy ngl.   
> This was only 7000 words WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG SLTGKFBJNGXFBTUFLKD


End file.
